Could somebody check my cover letter?

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#1

Dear Sirs,

I’m submitting an application for the Junior Accountant position you advertised on Jobmagazine on January 13.
I graduated with a degree in Management from the University… and postgraduate studies with specialization in Banking from the Business School …
For the past year and a half I have been employed at Bank Zachodni WBK S.A. in the position of customer advisor. However, due to a desire for development, I would like to work and gain experience in another sector of finance.
I am enthusiastic and constantly strive for objectives, and not afraid of challenges. I very willingly and quickly learn new things without fear of hard work. I have well developed analytical skills. I am communicative, outgoing, which is connected with the fact that I easily interact and feels comfortable working in a team and yet I am not afraid and do not avoid individual responsibility, on the contrary - with passion take this type of challenge.
I think that the opportunity to work in your company will allow me not only to raise my qualifications but will also enable use of my skills to implement your needs.
Therefore, I can assure you that the acquired and constantly deepened knowledge will be helpful for efficient and conscientious doing of the intrusted duties. I detailed description of my education, previous work experience, and skills I have mastered are in the attached resume I submited to help in the initial assessment of my candidacy.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to the opportunity to personally discuss why I am particularly suited to this position.

Is that grammatically correct?


#2

Hi there

Looks good. I would make the following changes to improve the grammar:

“I am communicative, outgoing and feel comfortable working in a team. I welcome individual responsibility.”

“The opportunity to work in your company will allow me to further improve my skills to meet your needs.A detailed description of my education, previous work experience and skills are in the attached resume I submitted previously.”

Hope that helps!


#3

Thanks Jac:)


#4

No problem. Hope it was helpful :slight_smile: